Zombie Barricade Tape

Zombie Barricade Tape

Scavanged by Baehr Manley

We’ve covered warning signage when it comes to marking dangerous areas, but sometimes you need something quick and temporary, while you’re on the go. The fine folks at TshirtBordello.com have it covered with their Zombie Barricade Tape. It’s one thing to mark an entire building, or field with permanent signs, but as you’re clearing out areas, you can quickly block off areas to warn your friends as you’re moving room to room, clearing dead heads out of abandoned buildings. The last thing you need is part of your crew wandering into a dangerous situation because you didn’t have anything on hand to quickly mark the doorway as you step away to prepare for clearing.


Highly Important Data Recovery

Highly Important Data Recovery

Scavanged by DeLiRiOuS

Buried discreetly beneath the depths of an abandoned Motel 6, a place already swarming with other diseases of rotten nefarious descriptions. Near the  vicinity of old Washington D.C. is the place where your possible salvation along with the salvation of the rest of the world may lie. In this place are men dedicated to the extraction of the most important of digital collections, your porn.

Now that the market is flooded with nothing but zombie on zombie, and interhuman zombie movies these men hold the very key to getting back your most precious of precious after your hard drives have been zapped out of commission while running from the unholy dead. And god forbid lying there next to your porn collection on a hard drive more dead than your asshole neighbor Bob.. (fucking Bob!).. is the formula for the cure.. thats right.. the cure for the disease! After years of research and  painstaking trial and error you’ve found it! Just to have it all taken away by the walking corpse of that fucking goober Bob! Who you came home to find one day endlessly googling the term “brains”, “asian brains” , and “two girls one cup.” Who knew Zombies were still computer savvy in their afterlife?  Regardless of that surprising discovery a scuffle ensued, a mess was made, and now your stuck with the shattered remnants of a cheaply made, Chinese assembled laptop computer! The one with all your unfinished poems, grade A porn and most importantly the cure…. And despite all previous warnings and despite the fact that it held the most important cure in possibly all of man kind’s history; you didn’t make a friggin’ backup!

Well fear not my friend because as long as you can manage to get your drive to the hard working boys at www.getbackmyporn.com you’ll get that cure back…or at the very least you’ll have back your entertainment for those lonely Saturday nights in the zombie bunker.


Beretta Px4 Storm Sub-Compact

Beretta Px4 Storm Sub-Compact

Scavanged by Baehr Manley

Once again, those chaps at Beretta catch our eye. Another in their Storm collection, the Beretta Px4 Storm sub-compact brings the reliability and innovation that comes with the Beretta name. While concealed carry isn’t always in the list of traits for a reliable firearm, there are obvious perks that come with the sub-compact category. I hate to mention, but sometimes zombies aren’t the only bipedal humanoid threat in this day and age. Having a nice powerful pistol tucked away is always a survivability modifier. Also, when you’re bringing weapons out, this one is nice and small, so it will be much easier to find room for this, than a full framed 1911 (although having both is the most optimal, I imagine). Even with it’s small size, the Px4 can still handle standard (and highly available) 9mm ammunition (It’s also available in .40 S&W), packing an amazing 13 rounds (10 in .40 S&W version) in such a sleek package.


Two-Handed Kukri Machete

Two-Handed Kukri Machete

Scavanged by Baehr Manley

I’m sure anyone that visits this site regularly will see very clearly that we’re fans of Cold Steel products. Not that we have any affiliation with them…we just feel that they really know their stuff when it comes to the sharp toys we tend to gravitate towards when we’re looking for a solid bladed instrument. The Cold Steel Two-Handed Kukri machete is no exception. A solid blend of a kukri blade’s power and versatility and the reach of an axe, this monster gives you plenty of chopping power. The blade shape has amazing cutting ability, a solid point capable of easily penetrating some of the thinner areas of a zombie’s skull, and the handle lets you position your hands in a way to properly leverage your body weight when swinging it around. An all around fantastic piece of steel that any serious zombie apocalypse survivor should think about packing.


Beretta Cx4 Storm

Beretta Cx4 Storm

Scavanged by Baehr Manley

Bringing a reliable firearm is no doubt a concern of every zApocalypse survivalist, but always ensuring you’ve got the ammunition when you’re out and about makes this difficult to manage sometimes. You want to be able to bring a weapon that has great range and accuracy, but sometimes all you’ve got is pistol ammunition. Beretta must have put some thought into this problem when they introduced the Cx4 Storm. The legendary arms manufacturer has delivered a great weapon system that allows you to bring some serious accuracy at range when all you’ve got is pistol ammunition. If you’ve only got .40 S&W, .45 ACP or 9mm laying around, no problem. The Storm fires’em all. Another big perk, it accepts all types of customization thanks to the Picatinny rails all over this beauty. Pull the sights off of that dry, useless AR-15 and slap it on the Storm, and you’re ready to put some rounds in zombie skulls.


Casio Pathfinder PAW5000

Casio Pathfinder PAW5000

Scavanged by Baehr Manley

When you’re trying to get around in the wild, its not just about your physical ability, and mode of transportation. You gotta know all about the area you’re in, if you want to travel smart. Yeah, it’s manly to just unscrew the compass in the handle of your Rambo knife, but it’s smarter to strap the Casio Pathfinder PAW5000 to your wrist as you plod through the brush. This elegant all-in-one packs a triple-sensor analog digital timepiece that also includes direction altitude, barometric pressure and temperature sensors. The only thing missing is a zombie sensor, but the convenience that this piece affords allows you to spend more time scanning the horizon for shambling figures, rather than fumbling about with multiple sensors and instruments.

Did we mention, it’s solar powered, so you don’t have to worry about making a battery run when you’re running low on the juice?